Theme for the day.:Bleeding.:

Don't bother's for my own personal pleasure :$$

...dear diary..?

It's been a month and a few days now since I joined the online chatting game that is slowly spreading throughout the whole world..IMVU. Frank to say, I don't know what the initial IMVU is, but I do know that we go there to chat with people, unlike myspace, facebook, twitter, MSN..and many more online chatting sites. I was once called 'noob' when I first joined there..luckily..there's C.J whom I met by accident in one of the chatting rooms..and he volunteered himself to help me familiarize myself with my surroundings. I slowly get to make new well as freaky weirdos approaching me..I then realized that I'm..not really hurting by myself..there are people..hurting more than I did..suffer from wreakage..coming from a broken family..and suffer many more hardships..some that I can understood for I've felt it before..but some are things..that I just can't bear to feel..

.. .... friends there..some..are..slowly falling in love with matter a girl..or guy..and it hurts me..cause I don't like breaking people hearts into rejecting many hearts must I break?How many more souls are going to black out for this reason?At the same time..things have been getting lover..the one I cherished all these actually encouraging me to hold on to a new one..and even volunteered to get me hurts me, knowing that..and today..I felt like I broke Ash and Lorii's heart... ..they must feel like I'm a jerk for letting my emotions get a hold of me and drown myself into depression...I don't want them to feel that way.. I can't let them suffer because of me..

-c.r.o.s.s @ 16/5/2010_01:53 a.m-

Crying tears of B.L.O.O.D~

Crying tears of B.L.O.O.D~
When we just managed to get back together..I was truly convinced that this is the time for us to slowly fix our bond.....but I was wrong...Nothing much ever change....even if it lasted..for not more than a week...till continued ignoring my wails..and my need for your presence.. ...and then you simply said to me with a joyful tone like whatever we've done together is like all. What about the memories we've created and cherished together?Well..what about them?What about us?Have..all your feelings for me..been fake..these whole three years..?Since when..have you pretend to still love me?Do you think I'm a fool to be played and toyed around..? Are you having the upmost pleasure of toying with my mind and hurting me everyday?And like you always have fun with your friends..and you text them..and call them.. Now I am your 'friend'...and why don't you do the same to me?You just neglect me..despite the status I'm in now=a friend..

Am I not your 'friend'? Am I just a puppet for you to toy with?Is that what I am to you all this time?Don't lie to me when you said 'Of course I need you. You're my friend.' Is that what a friend would do?You don't need never do. You just need yourself. Even if as a friend, I'd like to bring a friend of mine..and hang out with your place you'd still shove me away..even as a friend. Why is that so wrong?You told me I'm your friend..and you still want to see me. Well..what about that?When I was just about to end this is a kind laughed at me. Thank you for breaking my heart all these years...

-c.r.o.s.s @ 16/5/2010_01:19 am-

Be Gone...

Just Be Gone...

Gone...just be gone..
All those memories of us..drenched in pure black,pitiful sorrow..
The horrid pain and painful thoughts and feelings that had been forged within time..
Those innocent and blissful times that we once had..

Heard no more..see no more..
Just let it be mourned and forgotten in our empty hearts..
Release me..Free me..Refrain yourself from letting the pain to penetrate even much deeper than it already have been..these seven months...
As love gradually changes to pure hatred..
as the once cherished feelings slowly fades away and be gone by the wind..
As you slowly began to understand that the feelings you have kept for me isn't the same as it used to be anymore..

Standing here..side by side with you..
The cold and heartless gazes..and shone upon our very face..
Just took a glint at the sky as rain started pouring by..
Slowly, your hand that once reached mine started to be pulled away..
Saying those cold words that you always said whenever we had an argument..
"Let's break up" you uttered from your lips..those cold, heartless words..
now seems nothing much to me..
my heart has turned numb and cold upon your approach towards me..
it seems that i could still shed tears from my sorrowful look..
"Six week...Six week is all it takes...after then..after we've gone back..we'd move on with our lives..and I'd be gone from your life forever.."
We rested our back against the trees and looked up at the rain drizzling heavily down its way to ea
While we wait..
We wait and we wait for those days to be gone..
we wait and we wait before we last bid goodbye for eternal..
We may se
e each other by chance in our next lives maybe..
But as that time comes..

We'll turn our backs upon each other with a cold look..
Just let time creeps we gazed and looked at ourselves as strangers..

-Wish you had a better life once. fret no more..and live with no regrets harboured within you-

♣♥F.O.R.G.I.V.E.A.N.C.E t-o the b.r.o.k.e.n. heart♥♣[re-w-r-i-t-e}

When it comes to 'forgiving', it's true that forgiving one is easy..but does your heart forgive those actions? There were times when your heart wanted to reply a different answer, but unfortunately your mouth and your tongue had well betrayed you..betrayed what your heart feel. To forget could be tough, and to reject someone is as well. Especially when your realized yourself having some sort of-'liking' towards that person. We are humans. Humans can never avoid themselves from compelling mistakes. We sometimes just act before we even think. Are you willing to let go of your happiness just to watch the one you love pursue their undying happiness?

C.R.O.S.S -13/6/08-


" Some things that we were given,
we treasure it greatly.
Because of that we
became possessive over it..."

" You can't be reborned,
But you can always change"

"Sometimes you
have to be weak
to be broken,
sometimes to be strong,
we need to be broken"

If you can't even run with footmen,
how do you run with horses.

It's all in the mind~


-a second to forget,
a lifetime to remember,--
as slowly as time creeps by,
every second, stained,
every minute,wasted,
we wait and we wait,
hoping someone would open the gate,
the door to our dreams,
the life we so longingly want,
we wait and we wait,
while watching other people get in,
enjoying the blissful joy that time cannot erase,
we wait and we wait
as our eyes burn with envy,
we crave to feel what they feel,
we'd go to the extend of arson
to the means of killing everyone around us.
we wait and we wait,
supressed by those memories and far..

B.I.N.C.H-end of untitled[re-w.r.i.t.e]