...dear diary..?

It's been a month and a few days now since I joined the online chatting game that is slowly spreading throughout the whole world..IMVU. Frank to say, I don't know what the initial IMVU is, but I do know that we go there to chat with people, unlike myspace, facebook, twitter, MSN..and many more online chatting sites. I was once called 'noob' when I first joined there..luckily..there's C.J whom I met by accident in one of the chatting rooms..and he volunteered himself to help me familiarize myself with my surroundings. Later..as I slowly get to make new friends..as well as freaky weirdos approaching me..I then realized that I'm..not really hurting by myself..there are people..hurting more than I did..suffer from hardships..family wreakage..coming from a broken family..and suffer many more hardships..some that I can understood for I've felt it before..but some are things..that I just can't bear to feel..


.. .... ..my friends there..some..are..slowly falling in love with me...no matter a girl..or guy..and it hurts me..cause I don't like breaking people hearts into rejecting them..how many hearts must I break?How many more souls are going to black out for this reason?At the same time..things have been getting worsen..my lover..the one I cherished all these years...is actually encouraging me to hold on to a new one..and even volunteered to get me one...it hurts me, knowing that..and today..I felt like I broke Ash and Lorii's heart... ..they must feel like I'm a jerk for letting my emotions get a hold of me and drown myself into depression...I don't want them to feel that way.. I can't let them suffer because of me..

-c.r.o.s.s @ 16/5/2010_01:53 a.m-